A Better Way To Start Day Gaming
Before we star talking about Day Gaming, let me tell you a short story about a friend of mine. My friend/colleague at work told me a story one day while we were sitting next to each other at a bus stop while waiting for the bus to arrive. We have just finished our eight-hour shift and are completely exhausted due to the high passenger load at the airport that day.
Early that morning, he began, he and another co-worker were standing in line at Starbucks while waiting for their first cup of coffee of the day. Due to the “sensitivity” of this topic, allow me to name my friend Alex and the other is Bob. Suddenly, Bob patted Alex on his back and pointed his finger somewhere at the corner of the coffee shop. “Man, look over there.”
When Alex followed the direction where Bob is pointing at, he could not help himself but be attracted to a beautiful Asian-looking girl sitting alone in a table at the corner of the shop while fidgeting her phone. She has a long shiny black hair that falls down just a few inches above her waist and she wears a white slim-fit T-shirt with a cartoon character printed on the front. She’s Chinese. That was their initial assumption of her nationality.
“Man, she’s so cute,” Alex commented as he kept his eyes locked on to the girl like a hyena. “How I wish I could have a girlfriend like that. If she would just agree to go out on a date with me, I will never let her leave my sight. I will ask her to marry me right away.”
Bob laughed at the sound of desperation in Alex’s voice. “Then why don’t you go up and talk to her? Ask her number.”
“Are you crazy? She will not talk to me.”
“Why not?” Bob asked. Alex cannot give him any clear answer to the question, but Bob can definitely sense the lack of confidence and the fear of rejection on his voice and face.
Two and a half hours later, Alex just finished his flight to Istanbul and was about to leave the boarding gates to proceed to his next flight, and then he saw a familiar face just a few feet away from him. A sudden surge of excitement rushed through his body and he found himself confused whether he should try talking to her or not. It was the Asian girl once again sitting in one of the benches while fidgeting her phone again. But what would he say to her? he thought. What are the right approach and the questions to ask a girl to get her number?
Alright, he said to himself. Screw it! I’m gonna talk to her right now and ask for her number. So he summoned all the courage in his body and filled his chest with every inch of self-confidence he could find and walk straight in her direction. He walks straight and past her. Damn!
“If only I am more confident about myself,” Alex told me in desperation. “If only I could conquer my fear and anxiety. If only I know what to say to grab her attention and probably her contact number in the process.” This whole story could have been different if that was the case.
Later that evening, I pondered about the story my friend has told me. He is a nice and a funny guy and I wanted to help him. So, I decided to do some extensive research on how to meet women and how to properly talk to them without freaking them out in the beginning. And in the stretch of that research, I frequently came across a topic about Pickup Artists and how they practice their trade. But I thought we don’t want to be a Pickup Artist with those cheesy lines and what not. We just want to learn how to confidently approach and talk to any girl without breaking down. We just want to project confidence in ourselves and talk to them without having difficulties on what to ask and say next. As is dig deeper into the subject, there is one particular term that caught my attention and it clearly matches the subject pointing towards Alex’s case. It is called Day Gaming.
WHAT IS DAY GAMING?
For those who are not familiar with what Day Gaming is, I would like to invite you to join me in this learning process as we uncover the secrets about Day Gaming and how it is done properly according to the experts. In this post, we are just going to scratch the surface and discuss its definition and its basic, yet effective practices. And if we want to learn in depth about the trade, we can find so many resources on YouTube as well as by searching on Google. And if you are already a seasoned veteran, I’m glad that you could join us and please if you have some useful inputs, tips and tricks, please share it with everybody by leaving a comment below.
According to Pualingo.com: “Day Gaming is the specific segment of the game that involves picking up girls during the day, hence the name Day Game. It is mostly done outside of normal social settings such as bars and clubs. Day Game also focuses on a different dynamic when picking up women than night game.”
In fact, most experts on this subject have divided opinions in regards to the real definition of the term. To some, Day Gaming is simply practicing it during the day. But on the other side of the coin, some people based Day Gaming upon the mood and atmosphere of the environment. For example, picking up girls at night on a spot where momentum is slower such as coffee shops, libraries, malls and other places frequented by women can be considered as Day Gaming as well. In many ways, Day Gaming is somewhat easier because women tend to have their shields lower compared to Night Gaming.
Now that we have an idea about the concept and definition of Day Gaming, we will now dig into what you have been waiting for. How to Day Game. Like I mentioned previously, if you are curious about the entire concept of Day Gaming and want to learn more about the subject, you can check out these book recommendations below or search the web for more resources:
THE BASICS OF DAY GAMING
I understand that people might say, especially for beginners, that Day Gaming is easier said than done. The number one hurdle that most men face is just themselves. The so-called Approach Anxiety, where men are afraid of approaching women they are attracted to. Their minds became filled with so many excuses, pointless chatter and extreme level of fear. The good news is, Approach Anxiety is widely common among men and the majority of us stumbled upon it at some point in our lives. that includes me and those expert Pickup Artists. But the only difference that I’ve learned between the good Day Gamers and the bad is that the good ones did not try to overcome it, but instead accepted it and embraced it as part of the game. We are just normal human beings. A normal man and it’s okay to feel that way.
I am not suggesting that we should not seek help and do something to overcome it, as long as the process of “curing” it does not become an obstacle and a distraction all by itself to enjoy a rich social life. Fortunately, I will be covering in this post some of the tips that I have learned on how to overcome it or at least deal with it.
TIPS ON HOW TO OVERCOME APPROACH ANXIETY
This is a step-by-step process on how to overcome Approach Anxiety that I have found most effective that anyone can start anytime even if we feel that we are not ready yet. I have tested this process myself and it proved very useful. If somehow anyone feels that you are confident enough to skip one of the steps and decided to proceed to the next one, then go ahead by all means.
1. START A CONVERSATION WITH ANY WOMEN THAT WE ENCOUNTER EVERYDAY
I am pretty sure that there are so many women that we randomly encounter as we go on with our daily lives to whom we can start a casual conversation with. For example, those women that I have found easy to talk to are usually the cashiers at the supermarket, the waitress at your favorite restaurant, the sales attendant where you buy your favorite brand of clothes, the flight attendants, etc. All of them are paid to have a conversation with us and we can leverage this to our advantage. The next time you see them, smile and try to start a casual conversation by starting with a joke like “Hey, how can I avail your 100% discount?” Yeah, I know its silly but I’m sure that you can come up with your own trick. After successfully trying this step a few times, try observing yourself on how you feel after each conversation.
2. SMILE AT RANDOM WOMEN
When step 1 is out of the way, it is now time to move on to something a little more challenging. Smiling at any random women you see. In this exercise, we don’t have to do anything aside from just a simple smile. We don’t have to project our most sparkling smile. Just smile casually and walk away. That’s it! We don’t have to do anything else. There are three types of response that we can expect from women when trying this exercise.
a) The girl ignores you and pretends that she did not see you. That’s okay.
b) She smiles back but looks away and ignores you.
c) She smiles back at you genuinely.
Whatever her response is, don’t try to do anything just yet. Just smile and move on.
3. SAY HI OR HELLO AT ANY RANDOM WOMEN
The third step in this process is more challenging than the previous two because there is an initial verbal exchange (if you’re lucky) between you and the girl. Like what they said, a simple Hi and Hello can go a long way but at this time don’t try to go on that road yet. Just say Hi or Hello and then walk away. And just like the previous step, there are three scenarios that we can expect to happen.
a) The girl ignores you completely.
b) She responds by saying a flat Hi or Hello and she then moves on with her life.
c) She responds to your greetings and then smiles back at you and if you’re lucky, she will follow it up by saying “How are you?” At this time, I will no longer hold you back from moving forward on attempting to engage in a conversation if you feel confident enough. But be warned that if you don’t know how to carry the conversation in a right way, you may end up saying unnecessary and boring things that could lose her interest.
4. COMPLIMENT ANY RANDOM WOMEN
Now, this is the time where you can find out if you are ready for the Super Bowl or not. In this last exercise, you will be complimenting any random girl to grab her attention. Here’s how you can execute it: walk to any random girl, doesn’t matter how she looks or how old she is, just walk up to her and tell her that she’s pretty and walk away. That’s it! If done a few times correctly, then you will notice a sudden boost of confidence in you. Open up a bottle of champagne and celebrate! You can also do this exercise to any girl you know that you don’t usually give compliments. Either you mother, sister, friend, classmate, co-worker, almost any girl you know. Based on my own experience, I have seen a couple reactions and responses from women, which are:
a) The girl ignores you completely and pretends that she did not hear you. But this case is least likely to happen because you will initially grab her attention by excusing yourself first or making your presence known to her before you compliment her.
b) She will thank you for the compliment without any sudden reactions and ignores you. This types of women are a bit challenging to catch, but it can still be done if one knows how to approach her correctly.
c) She smiles and acknowledges your compliment.
If at this time you have done all of these exercises correctly, then I am certain that you can feel a tremendous boost in your confidence level. Just bear in mind that if you have successfully overcome your Approach Anxiety, you can still do these as a “warm-up exercise” before attempting to engage in the real thing. In this way, you can loosen up your stiff nerves and condition yourself both physically and mentally. This is some amazing ways to set you up in the groove, so to speak.
HOW TO DAY GAME
Finally! We have come to this moment where I will show you the step-by-step procedure that I have learned during my research on how to Day Game properly. Consider this as a blueprint or a manual for Day Gaming that we could follow so that we would not get lost in the wave of confusion. Without a solid and a detailed plan, we will easily end up saying awkward and boring things. Just like a basketball game where your coach tells you to go ahead and do everything you can to win the game against the opposing team with a solid gameplan on how to beat the crap out of you. Some Pickup coaches and gurus, with their own style and procedures, have come up with some fancy names on how to call each of their steps, but I would rather make it simple by calling it Step 1, Step 2 and so on to avoid confusing ourselves in the long run.
Step 1 involves spotting our target and approaching her. But, we need to remember that we may encounter two kinds of scenarios here. First scenario, the girl is walking. Second, the girl might be stationary. She could be sitting in the park, reading a book or drinking coffee. Either way, each scenario requires a different approach.
If the girl is walking towards us or away from us, the best way to get her attention or stop her is to kill her momentum. We could run up to her and stop her there. The first thing that we need to say is to excuse ourselves and apologize because we obviously just bothered her. She may be on her way to something important, but we just appeared out of nowhere in front of her. What do we say? We could say, “Excuse me. I am so sorry to bother you…”
This is much easier compared to the first scenario because she is just there. Waiting for us to make our move. What makes it less challenging is the idea that she is not busy on something. She could be reading books, drinking coffee or just simply sitting or standing. Again, on approaching her, we first need to excuse ourselves as we make our presence known and apologize for bothering her even if she’s not doing anything in the first place. The first thing that we should not forget that applies to both scenarios is to give out our friendliest smile ever.
Now, pay attention because this part is important. Whatever scenario we may encounter, what we should do and say first is “Smile“, “Excuse” and “Apologize“. Those are the first three things that we should remember and I’m pretty sure that it is not that hard to memorize. Take this line as a template: (Smile) “Excuse me. I am so sorry to bother you. My name is Bryan (or whatever your name is), and **I saw you walking over there (for Scenario 1)/**I saw you standing/sitting here (for Scenario 2), and I just thought that you are so beautiful, so I just wanted to say hello.”
Take note that after we apologize to the girl, we should immediately express our intention by saying how beautiful she is straight away. We need to lay down our intention and let her know that we are attracted to her. Period! No fancy and boring gimmicks like asking for the time or direction. In this way, we can easily and immediately reduce the tension between us. We might stutter a little bit while speaking, but we should not forget to look her in the eyes and do the best we can to speak in a low, calm and clear voice. We need to project some confidence even if we are feeling a little bit nervous inside.
Just be careful with this step to avoid freaking her out and giving her the wrong impression of our motive. The correct way to do this is to call her attention in front of her like mentioned above. Not beside her. Not behind. We don’t want her to mistake us as a mugger or someone with ill intentions. That is a very brave move if pulled off correctly. As we stop her, don’t just say “Hey, you’re pretty” like a kid in a hurry to go home. We should stand firm in our ground and take full responsibility for our actions. You can also be creative by coming up with your own version or variation of these lines. It doesn’t matter, as long as you get her attention.
Tip: When complementing, try to avoid using the words sexy, hot or bomb. Instead use the appropriate words like pretty, beautiful and gorgeous.
Step 2 is where the fun begins as we make all the effort to make the conversation more fun and interesting. I have learned that this is actually the most crucial part of the Day Gaming process because if not done correctly, your conversation could end up downhill and blow up the chance to take her out on a date. The trick is that we have to immediately win her by opening up with the correct things to say or ask, and there is some sort of a linear process that we need to follow. If we don’t keep this in mind and go freestyling, then there is a huge possibility that we might get lost in our way and have the tendency to ask her those bland and boring questions like “Where are you from?” or “What do you do for a living?” The worst thing that could happen is we freeze and run out of things to say. But, we may ask, what are the correct things to say? If we cannot ask her where she’s from or what she does for a living, how can we start an engaging conversation?
Instead of directly asking those questions, why don’t we twist it a little bit and rather make observations and assumptions? We can make an observation about the way she dresses, her accessories or her accent when she speaks. This, of course, will vary depending on where you are or your current location. For example, if you are in a city like Manila, where most women that you meet are Filipinas, there is only 20 out of 100 percent chance of meeting a woman from a different nationality. So those three observation factors are very common. But, if you are in a big city like New York, London or Paris, making assumptions or observations about her ethnicity is applicable.
With all the information we have during our observation, we can now proceed to our assumptions. Below are a few lines that we can use and can also be modified based on our initial observation. These are just guides on what to follow to avoid being confused and lost.
- “You look so classy. Are you a model or a designer?” (Based on the observation about the way she dresses)
- “I like your glasses. It makes you look cuter. Are you a writer or a computer programmer?” (Based on the observation about her accessories)
- “You look very much French to me than Italian. Am I correct?” (Based on the observation about her ethnicity)
Notice on the third line that we ended it with the question AM I CORRECT. It is a good way of making her obliged to respond to our question. There are a variety of ways that we can improvise these lines by coming up with our own, depending on where we are and what type of woman she is based on our observation. Just keep in mind to refrain from making observations or assumptions about any physical defects that we see.
So, reviewing Step 2: We need to avoid asking boring questions even if that’s the most common thing that would pop up in our heads. Instead, make observations and assumptions on anything about her. Once we establish those, then it’s time to express them in words. How do we do that? By looking at her in the eyes and speaking in a slow and clear voice. It’s totally cool if you make most of the assumptions wrong because, in that way, she will likely to make some corrections on what we’ve just said and made an interesting conversation in the process. That is where the fun is.
Step 3 is where we escalate the conversation into a more in-depth exchange of information. Just always remember that as a man, a confident man, in fact, we are the ones that need to carry the whole situation. The majority of the things that should come out of our mouth must be all about her. This is where we squeeze her into giving out more details about herself. We need to build up a bridge between Step 2 and 3.
The only keyword that we need to keep ni mind is Flirtation. It should be full of teasing and flirtation. Be playful and funny without being a clown. Try to make her laugh more often during the conversation.
Everything that we have learned so far about the girl from the previous step must be utilized in this part. Example: If she is from Korea (South), we can play around with that information and make it more interesting. Do not talk about the politics, current events or news about Korea. That’s boring. Let’s try using the following lines:
- “So you’re from Korea (or where ever she’s from). Korea is probably the loneliest place today. (Why?) Because you are not there.”
- “I don’t want to visit Korea anymore. (Why?) Because the most beautiful sight of the country is already here in front of me.”
There may be some things that she would say which we don’t understand or have no idea what she is talking about, but it is our job to come up with something out of the hat to be interested or engaged in what she just said. One example is if she mentioned something very technical about her job that we don’t have any knowledge or experience about. Let’s not try to pretend that we are knowledgeable about the subject, but rather try asking her questions about it and be genuinely interested in what she would say. Women love the feeling of being smarter than men and in this case, it could work to our benefit. It is one way of filling the gap between you and her.
This is just a basic step where we keep it light and playful by teasing her and throwing jokes and banters. Our main objective at this stage is to make her feel comfortable with us until we reach a point where she feels comfortable to ask us questions that could pretty much make it easier for our transition to Step 4.
This step is considered as a more serious version of Step 3. This is where we dig deeper into the conversation and make here participate in our little Q&A. To avoid confusion and to make this clearer and easy to understand, we are going to split Step 4 into two (2) short sections. These sections are essential to building a connection between us and the girl. Without the other one, this could not work as expected.
We are now free to ask to ask a few personal questions to get to know her better. But keeping the conversation light is still the key. If we did a great job during the previous step, chances are she may already be interested in us as well. She may also ask a few questions about us to feed her curiosity on why we talked to her in the first place.
The way to make this step more interesting is to ask questions that do not require a sing-shot answer. Meaning, if we probe more about her job and ask questions like “How long have you been working as a teacher?”, she could just give us the required answer to the question. “Three years.” And after that, we’re gonna have to think of another question to ask. And another. And it would just keep on going until we run out of things to say and everything that we have worked for will go south. The right questions to ask are those that would make her do some work a little bit and invest in the conversation. At this stage, we are now free to ask if she is still single or already taken.
Once again, I have compiled a list below some of the examples and the correct ways of asking questions:
- “What do you love about your job?’
- “Are there any challenges that you encounter at work?”
- “What made you decide to visit this place/city/country?”
- “What do you love about this place/city/country?”
- “If given a chance, will you come back here again?”
- “Is there any other places that you would like to visit in the future?”
- “What do you do if you’re not working?”
Section 2 is really simple. This is where we tell her something about ourselves. Where we are from, our work, hobbies and so on. It is important, to be honest, and be true to ourselves as we go on with the conversation. We need to give her the impression that we are a real person and a gentleman, and not just a random guy who likes picking up girls as a hobby and to positively build ourselves, even if we have to disclose our negative side. We are not a perfect human being, and for her to learn about our imperfection will create a perfect impression.
Part 4 is where the real connection between the two begins. We don’t have to do Sequence 1 and 2 in a linear order. As the conversation goes along, these two sections should be mixed together to create a more engaging and interesting conversation.
Step 5 is where we should end the conversation. What I have found out during my research, doing these five steps should not exceed to a maximum of twenty minutes long. That is why we have cut down some unnecessary chit-chats and went straight to the point. We told her that we are attracted to her in the beginning and that is already enough to give her a clue of our intentions. We do not lie to her about what’s going on. Now, it is time to ask for her contact number. We could have already taken it at Step 4, but we don’t want to make the conversation rushed and quick. We want our connection to gradually develop and earn her trust.
So how do we properly end it? These lines should be a good example, to begin with. But depending on the situation, we can modify these lines and use the appropriate versions:
- “Look, I really enjoyed talking to you…”
- “I don’t want to take much of your time anymore…” (There is a possibility here that she would say she’s not in a hurry, and it’s okay to continue the conversation a little longer. In that case, we can then ask or invite her for a cup of coffee or lunch/dinner right away)
- “Maybe you are busy…”
- But I would love to see you again very soon for a coffee or dinner…”
- “Can I take your number?”
If for some reason she cannot give her number, at least try to get her social media account like facebook or Instagram. It may not be as effective as a phone number, but at least we could establish a communication between us and start gradually from there. But, if she cannot give her contact details at all, let’s be a true gentleman and respect the reason behind that. Like what they said, there are so many fish in the sea and there will always be someone out there for you. be patient and wait for the right one.
So there you have it, gentlemen. The 5 Steps in day Gaming that will help any man to improve their social skills. Whatever reason you have for taking an interest in Day Gaming, remember to always be real, honest and respect ever women we meet. I hope that you found this post informative and helpful. Please subscribe ti my mailing list to keep you updated on my latest blog posts that I’m sure will be beneficial to you.
Thanks and Good Luck.
**Further reading recommendations: